It is way too warm today. Current weather app says it’s 75ºF outside. I’m not used to it. This is the in-between weather where I don’t know how to dress. Hoodie? T-Shirt? Jeans? Shorts? It takes too much effort to think about. These past couple of days have been weird. Even my sleep tracker shows a bit of uneasiness. Not like that is completely accurate, but it’s true. I don’t have a great record at sleep. I have that feeling where it’s too bright. I want to shut my eyes, apply some pressure, and just stop my thoughts from flowing. I should have meditated. Going to the dog park is a bit of meditation for me. It’s regular, and it’s focusing on the present that helps. Watching Link helps me. He’s such a good doggy. He’s loyal, and definitely MY dog. He plays well with other dogs, friendly, and just a great happiness for me. It’s noticeable and nice to have that confirmed by other dog owners at the park. He’s great at everything. As much work as it is to take care of him, it’s really just nice to have him with me. He’s been my main focus in these tougher times. Honestly, I don’t know what my life would be without him right now. He’s annoyingly lovable. He gets me up in the morning even on days when I don’t want to. His loyalty and love and friendship are really what is great. The assurance is there. I can’t help but smile when I see his face. And I know it’s reciprocated. As of right now, he’s looking out the window, trying so hard not to fall asleep. He wants to know what I’m doing sitting on my bed type.
I’m trying not to fall asleep. Like I said, it hasn’t been easy sleeping. Lights are blinding. I have an itchy feeling of anxiety, like I’m supposed to be doing something. I’m missing something or forgetting. I’m not quite sure what it is. I’m learning to accept that though. Not knowing, or trying to figure that “thing” is. It’s just a waste of time. If it’ll occur to me, it will, but there really isn’t much I could do. So I just sit here typing my thoughts, and one after the other, I type.